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Humiliation
& Degradation differs in its common use outside of (consensual) SM.
| Humiliation
/hju:`mIlI,eIt/to Injure the dignity or self-respect of, a humble condition. |
You cannot imagine tolerating humiliation in the
work place, and yet it all seems to change when it is with your Master or an interaction
in a SM environment.
One example was a guy in a SM bar wearing the worst and most baggy bib jeans under a pair
of leather chaps. They look awful and got a lot of derisory comments. Until you discovered
his attention to detail in every thing he did to invite such a reaction - He really got
off on the publics disgust of him.
What about activities like boot licking, being on all fours collared and leashed by
your Masters side, drinking piss, eating shit, lapping up vomit, eating your food from a
dogs bowl or off the floor, eating dog food, putting the polish on your Masters boots
using your cheeks and then taking the shirt off your back and polishing your Masters boots
?
That which previously would have been an affront to your personal dignity-and yet it all
changes in an SM/perv context. How it is degrading when you get some passive little slave
licking your boots with such an appetite, that you feel his tongue massaging your feet,
and lost all the polish off your boots! It is hard to imagine him fining it genuinely
degrading, because of the context - if it was switched from someone/cult sub-type that he
idolises (powerful 'FuckOff!' skinhead for example) to that say of his father or
employer. 
A slave or SM perv take quite a different view. What of the slave to loves licking his
Masters boots, loves lapping his piss up off the floor, feel content and at one with the
world when he is bound secure on the floor under his Owners boots, what of him ?
What of the slave who is proud in his sense of achievement as he has drunk his Master dry
(and his friends), and not missed any ? What of the slave licking every morsel of shit
from his Masters hand or licking his dog bowl clean reaching into every corner returning
the bowl in his mouth back to his Masters feet - gleaming ?
The slave may in fact, feel most himself when his Master
treats him as his slave/dog/pony and the slave appreciates this finding his place in
the world Humiliating a submissive brings out the slaves humility. Slaves like to
have others see them as they see themselves and when they have come to terms with their
identity, they are proud of their submissiveness.
So the slave loves it when their Master embarrasses them by controlling them in front of
others, or showing them off. However In a society that does not accept sub/Dom play, a Dom
must choose these others with care. Typically being an SM/Leather friendly environment.
Here the slave is being shown with his own kind.
For 'Switches' (both Top and Sub) they can have serious inner confusion and at one moment
this are swimming in the sea of submission, then at another instance that hate that fact
and reject it. Hence why there can be some serious risk in this kind of play. It is up to
the Master to know his slave and to be able to read him like a book and sense where the
slaves emotions are going.
Slaves typically need reminding of their place and the
Masters power over them.
Proud Slaves ^
They should be proud, such skills are rare indeed, and you
can imagine how proud the Master feels when he see how well his dog has done ("That's
my slave that is..."), then the reward as the Master says "Good boy" to the
slave, praise from Master is indeed special, like a glowing wave rushing over you.
Similarly, for a slave having his Masters dog tag and
chain collar padlocked around his neck - it is a positive moment of pride, shaking his
neck to hear the tag jangle against the padlock, he feels positively naked with out
it (as he does with other symbols of his slavery) - until the context changes and and is
mothers asks "what's that around your neck son?"
What of the Jewish or black slave who wants to be Owned and abused by a White Power
kkk/Skinhead (and there are plenty), he has the battle against Political Correctness
which is denying him fulfilment - Political Correctness was designed for the
social-workplace, and was not meant to cross-context, and for sure have the SM
context in mind.
So within context humiliation scenes are just not
humiliating to the subject, whereas the voyeur wanking off enjoys believing them to be
which is their fantasy, where some dogslave is 'forced' to lick the shit out of some skins
ass as the skin holds the dogs chain securely - the slave would not have it any other way,
in fact that slave would mostly likely consider the Master as fake and the experience as
truly humiliating if the Master did not do his job properly.
Whilst in normal SM/Perv play space the SM player just
operates with in the one context, never breaching the context of the SM Playrooms, a
Master requires that the slave be consistent through out all contexts, not just in the
bedroom, sauna or club - but in public or wider social groups. |
| Job of the Master ^
Is to break the context switch problem. This is where the
slave perceived an affront to his personal dignity what he behaves towards his Master (or
his Masters touch) when out of the SM play space. This requires that the slave trusts his
Master. It can be achieved with the following approach.
- Desensitising of the perception
between humiliation and normal behaviour - it helps when the SM couple
are firmly grounded in their perception of their SM community, what is 'acceptable
behaviour' in the SM play space, knowing that they are a different an better breed to
those in the more mundane Vanilla world.
- Giving the slave inner strength,
security and pride - he has (or will have) much to be proud off, there will
be many that can only dream of what he has achieved and become. There 'bitchiness'
and comments often reflect their jealousy, their insecurity and ability to cope with with
'difference' in their mental prison. They typically say "Your Sick" (as they
have not managed rational argument this being a knee-jerk comment), if your slave is
unprepared he might believe them, he sold not loose site of their pathetic little world,
and how he has embarrassed a new diversity. At very worst your slave is better able to
cope with change diversity and has a wider horizon than they ever could.
As the slave changes in the inside, it soon comes to the surface. He no longer notices the
chain on his neck (expect when it is not there), when someone asks, he looks to see what
they are talking about, "Oh that..." Wait till he tells the mundanes how he got
his piercing or how he licked the urinal clean - that is really something to talk about.
Though it is often said that a slave is never good enough for his Master, he still has to
have a strong sense of self worth and often it is the job of a Master to build up the
slaves mental defences (slaves are possibly stronger than a Master, as the Master can
easily fit into societies norms). The Master is the slaves councillor (as maybe his slave
peers are to), the Master has to fix the head of his slave. Help him to hold his Owner in
the work place. Effectively, you need to make his strong enough for him to wear his chain
in public.
For him in public to call you "Sir" (in Europe it is a little humiliating to
call anyone SIR of your own volition, unlike in a number of American states).
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