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Letters to the Oracle.
By Spooky.

Some letters By Gemima
(marked by a #. Thanks Darling.)

I don't know what to do. I'm in love with my best friend. He's the most warm-hearted, kindest person I know, always willing to help people in trouble, sometimes risking his life for total strangers.
I go with him everywhere, help him out when I can, even though I'm not as strong as he is, but he hardly knows I exist.
I sometimes feel like I'm only there to cook and catch food for him. How can I make him see how I feel for him?
I feel time is running out for both of us, as we are getting older and our work is dangerous. One day he won't be there for me to tell him how I feel.

I'm sorry to hear your story. It happens so often and all I can say is, are you sure you want a man who is so giving to others?
Perhaps when you cook for him and help him, he sees you as a sister/ mother figure.
Perhaps you should go after another man, if you feel your biological clock is ticking. This one doesn't seem like the marrying, settling down type.

Perhaps I didn't explain myself fully. If my biological clock was ticking I wouldn't be writing to you, but the fact is, I'm a guy.
Is your answer still the same?

You obviously have issues with your childhood that you have to come to terms with. How was your relationship with your father? Was your mother over protective?
I ask these things because you are obviously confused and need to talk it through with someone professional.
You obviously admire your best friend and as you mention that he is stronger and bigger than you, are you sure it's not just a boyish crush?

Of course I'm fucking sure. I'm hardly a teen. I'm nearly forty! And what's this shit with my father? Who do you think you are? Freudus?
Just answer the question or I'll be forced to go to your rival Oracle and ask her opinion.

I'm truly sorry if I offended you. Please don't go to my rival. He wouldn't help you anyway. He's more into money problems and marriage guidance.
I'm happy to help you out with any problems. Just tell me a little more about your situation and I'll see how I can advise you.

Ok. I'll tell you about it... just no more cracks about my father!
I guess I've always been in love with him. From the first day I met him he helped me out and guided me. I had a rough childhood and his family welcomed me into their home as if I was a long lost son.
I think that his mother was quite pleased he had finally found a friend. He had spent most of his childhood isolated from the other boys of the village because of who and what he was and it was good to find someone like me who didn't care about who his father was. I liked him because of who *he* was, not his parentage.
All right. Yes. Maybe my father did have something to do with it in a way. He was a general and wanted me to be the warrior son he longed for, but when I grew up small and weak, rather than big and strapping, he stayed away from me. He treated me like I was nothing.
It was the same with my friend. His father's pretty high up in some places, and he was never there for my friend either. I guess we did have something in common, though we rarely mentioned it.
We grew up and went to the academy together, learning to fight and be warriors, even though it went against his morals. We found another friend and did a lot of boyish things together and even had some adventures.
It was really only when he was away for a few days with our other friend, and I was left alone, that I realised how much I loved him.
I had recently discovered that there were things going on in the academy with other boys that made me curious; so one night, I crept up on two of them and watched them together in the woods.
It just... felt right to me... wonderful and beautiful and I wanted to try it.
Well. You know how teens are. I tried it until the cows came home, with lots of different guys... and a few women too, which was great, but always at the back of my mind was my friend. He was the one I wanted. I felt that life just wouldn't be complete without him by my side.
But he's such a moron when it comes to feelings. The guy is so filled with goodness that it sometimes makes me sick. There was no way I could tell him. Sometimes I broached the subject of sex with him, and I could practically see him glowing with embarrassment. I gave up and just carried on with my own activities, not letting him know about the way I felt.
And so it continued, until this day. We both grew up and became heroes, but he still blushes like a bride if I say anything off colour, and I still love him as much as I did then... if not more.
Can you help me? It's eating me up inside. I'm starting to feel as if our time together is at an end, and I really want him to know how I feel, before one of us leaves for the Elysian fields

Oh dear. You really are in a pickle aren't you? You friend is obviously not interested in your feelings for him.
Perhaps he just doesn't like men the way you do.
You should try and take you mind off him for a while. Perhaps take up a hobby? There are a lot of different things to do out there. You might meet someone else who shares your interest. Basket weaving is fun, or painting.
Or perhaps you could go on vacation for a while. A chance of a little holiday romance might work wonders.
You could always flirt with other men in front of him and see how he reacts. You say he's not very forthcoming on subjects of sex and needs to relax a little. You might find getting him drunk helps.
Please let me know how you get on.

I tried the basket weaving thing you suggested, but the only people at the classes were little old ladies, so I gave it up.
Then I tried the vacation and got nothing but trouble. I ended up having to rescue a bunch of villagers from a rampaging hydra. (Well, I enjoyed myself, but it was hardly a holiday romance. I mean... which head do you kiss first?)
So, in desperation I went to visit the Widow Twanky in Rhumba and learned to dance for a week.
I'm now an expert at the Pasa Doble, and can even pirouette with the best of them, but I still couldn't get my mind off my friend.
I went back home and decided to visit him at his cottage. To my surprise his brother was there visiting.
I like his brother, but he's a bit of a sulky socks and I've never thought of him as the kind of guy who gives into passion. He's even more stuffy than Herc is, if that's possible.
But, still, he's a good looking guy - long auburn hair, a sexy pout, and muscles to die for, so I spent all night making off colour remarks, brushing against him and accidentally touching his leg while I was sat next to him.
Herc didn't turn a hair, but Iphy got more and more turned on as the night went on, and we ended up fucking like bunny rabbits in Herc's barn.
Now I have even more trouble. Iphy is a lonely kind of guy and has a hard job. I think he interpreted my interest as love, or something, and he's asked me and Herc to go stay at his place in Corinth for a while.
Herc's all for it, and of course, where he goes, I go. But now I'm expected to warm Iphy's bed at night, when all I want to do is be with Herc.
What do I do.

Dear Sore and Confused.
You should take advantage of your friend's brother's job for a while and have a bit of down time. It sounds like you and your friend are always doing things for other people. Now is a good time to put your feet up and just let things go.
Try to forget about your friend. I know it isn't easy, but he really doesn't seem to like men. However, the fact that he didn't react when you were flirting with Iphy seems to tell me that he didn't mind it either.
Tell me more of went on in the barn. I need these details, to see where your problem lies. Perhaps he thinks your technique needs improving and is willing to let you experiment, before he lets you know how he feels.

Dear Auntie Oracle.
My technique DOES NOT need improving. I'm damn good at what I do, thank you very much!
So you want details? Since when does the Delphic Oracle need details?
Well, Ok. I suppose I may as well try it. I just hope Herc doesn't get his hands on this parchment. He'd blush so hard, they'd be able to see him in Rhodes.
Hehehe. Funny that...
Never mind.
Well, Me and Herc got to Corinth and went to Iphy's place. Iphy was holding a banquet that night for some people and invited us. Herc looked reluctant, but I thought perhaps if I got him a bit drunk, I might be able to make a move on him, so I persuaded him.
Iphy told us we would have to change out of our usual clothes. He didn't really want a scruffy looking pair like us at his banquet, so off we went to our rooms to bathe.
I paced up and down for ages trying to work out what excuse I could make to go and share Herc's bath. I finally thought of something and went to his room. He was half way through his bath when I barged in.
I told him my bath was almost cold, and could I share his? He looked surprised, but he didn't object - I mean it's hardly the first time we've shared. I got undressed and got in.
Almost immediately he got out and started dressing. I felt a bit of an idiot sitting there, staring at his gorgeous bod while he dried himself, but snapped out of it and started to wash. Damn. I shouldn't have taken so long to think of a plan.
I had a fantasy of us laying in the hot water together, then him asking me if I could wash his back for him, so I'd get the soap and start running it over his wonderful, bronzed, muscular body, feeling his slippery skin under my hands and leaning forward to gently lick at his ear then downward to the nape of his neck...
He snapped me out of my fantasy by telling me that I should hurry up and get dressed.
I looked up at him and saw him dressed in the clothes Iphy had lent him, and my breath just got stuck in my throat.
He was wearing a long sleeved silk shirt, which was laced loosely, showing off his chest, and a jewelled vest over the top of it. On his legs he wore tight black leathers, not unlike the ones his other brother wears.
His other brother. Woah, what a man. Well, actually, he's not a man, but he has an ass to die for, and he always wears these really tight leather pants that just show off every curve and bulge and...
Got side-tracked there.
Herc threw me the towel and told me to get out of the bath and went out of the room, leaving me with the hard on from Tartarus, and no way to get rid of it. I really didn't want to jerk off there and then, because Herc might come back into the room, and for the same reason I was reluctant to get out of the bath.
I gingerly got up, ears alert for the sound of his return, then grabbed a bowl of cold water by the side of the bath, and poured the whole lot over my cock.
Well that had the effect I wanted. Within seconds, my rampant trouser snake was a whimpering worm. I got out and dried myself, then found the clothes that Iphy had supplied for my use.
The guy had taste, I got to admit. He'd put me in a similar shirt to Herc's, but in a light blue that exactly matched my eyes. (Amazing he noticed. I didn't think he'd been looking at them much.) The vest was a creamy gold colour and the pants were soft and silky loose stuff that felt quite pleasant on my skin. I found a mirror and admired myself for a while, until Herc came into the room.
I did a little twirl and asked him what he thought. He sort of grunted and told me I looked like a rent boy out for business.
Well that made me pretty angry, I tell you. I told him he looked like one of those romantic, handsome princes that silly little girls sigh over in stories... you know the type, all brawn and no brains.
Pretty crap, as far as insults go, but I just said the first thing that came into my mind. It worked anyway. He got this kicked puppy look on his face, and I just had to leave before the urge to throw my arms round him and apologise, got too much for me to control.

Oops, I've written for far too long. I can hardly see the parchment now it's getting dark, and anyway, I have to go to the banquet now. I'll carry on with this tomorrow.
Do you think I did the right thing by insulting him? He just made me so mad. Is that really what he thinks of me?

Dear Hurt and Depressed.
Your friend doesn't deserve you. It's obvious he's just using you as a travelling companion. I think you should carry on the affair with Iphy.
What about Herc's other brother you mention? You seem to like him a lot. If you get tired of Iphy, perhaps he should be next on your agenda.
Please carry on with your writing. Telling all your problems, secrets and desires to someone you don't know, does a person the power of good.
I think you should tell me everything - get it all off your chest.

My best friend is driving me nuts. He acts really strange around me, and I don't know how to put it to him tactfully that I'm not interested in him, because I'm sure that's what he is trying to tell me.
He touches me all the time, and flirts with me, so I just ignore it, but now we're visiting my brother in Corinth and he's openly sleeping with him.
He always has been a bit of a slut, and now I think he wants me to be one of his conquests. Well, I'm not willing to be a one night stand.
I'm more of a loving type... the type who stays faithful and expects my partner to stay faithful too. My friend (I'll call him Io) is totally the opposite. There's no way I could have a relationship with him, because he would make me jealous all the time.
I wouldn't mind him sleeping with my brother, but it's embarrassing the way they slobber all over each other when I'm there. It's like they both want me to be humiliated or something, and if mother knew, I don't know what she would say.
This evening, my friend made a really lame excuse to share my bath, and well, I couldn't say no, because we've shared baths so often in the past, but this time, the look in his eyes just made me want to get out of there. He just had this look that screamed "Take me" at me, and I just couldn't bear it anymore.
He did look nice in the clothes Iphy lent him though. I'm not used to him looking all cleaned up and pretty like that, but I told him that he looked like a rent boy, and now I think I've upset him.
How can I make it up to him nicely, but at the same time tell him that I only like him as a friend?

Hmm. Sounds to me you protest too much.
Are you sure that you don't like your friend in another way? You keep telling me that you don't find him attractive, but then you tell me how nice he looked in his borrowed finery.
You tell me he's a slut and sleeps about, but then you say you would like a loving faithful relationship, and mention him in the next sentence. Do you think secretly, that if he stopped his playing about, you would take him as your lover?
Are you sure it isn't jealousy that you are feeling when you see Io and your brother together?
And may I ask why you signed yourself 'Frustrated'? Can you really think about the way he looks at you and tell me you don't want him?
I think you should be honest with yourself, and think about this really carefully.
As for making it up to him? I think you should just tell him outright that you're sorry you insulted him, and that you think he looks really good. Everyone likes a compliment, even hardened warriors. I'm sure he'll forgive you straight away.
Good luck, and think about what I said.
Write and tell me how you get on.

When I last wrote to you, I was about to go to a banquet held by my lover. Well... it was a complete and utter disaster.
First Herc tried to get back in my good books, by apologising for calling me a rent boy, then Iphy spent all night eyeing me up and stroking my knee under the table.
This wouldn't have been so bad, but Herc was staring at me in this really weird way all night, and it was making me nervous. It was like he was... trying to desire me.
Now normally I would have taken the opportunity with both hands, if you'll pardon the expression, but quite honestly he was just making me giggle. He was staring at me so hard at one point, he went cross-eyed, and I thought he was going to shit himself. He looked like a constipated tortoise.
It didn't help that I was sat next to some diplomat's daughter and she was pretty forward as well. I'm surprised her hand and Iphy's didn't meet under the table, they were feeling me up so much.
Anyway, it got so bad I just had to leave to regain my composure. The need to laugh myself stupid was just getting overwhelming. I went into the corridor, just collapsed in a corner and cried with laughter.
When I went back into the hall, Iphy had turned his attention elsewhere and Herc had been cornered by the pushy daughter. I sat down and just grinned at him, which seemed to piss him off. His face was bright red, and finally he muttered something about me taking over, because I was a real slut.
That made me real mad. I challenged him, and he started shouting something about me fucking Iphy because I couldn't have him.
The whole hall went silent, and every single person there just stared at me as if I was some kind of bug. I just had to get out of there - again.
He really hurt me. He'd never been such a bastard like that before. Yeah, ok, my morals aren't exactly snow white, but I'm really not as bad as he made out, and that last crack about me and Iphy, well, I guess it hit too close to the truth.
I walked round Corinth for ages, feeling angry, sad, mortified and every other bad emotion under the sun. It got late, but the last thing I wanted to do was go back to Iphy's home, and face him, or anyone else there.
I just sat down against a wall, and I'm ashamed to say, I cried my eyes out.
I don't know how long I snivelled like some street rat, but suddenly I heard this voice asking me if I could pipe down, 'cos he was trying to co-ordinate a few wars, and couldn't concentrate with me wailing outside his place.
I looked up and there was Herc's other brother (you know, the one with the tight leather pants?), stood there looking real pissed. Ok. He always looks pissed, but he had this thundercloud look on his face that made me think I was toast.
I got up and apologised. The way I was feeling right then, I really didn't want to mess with him.
He recognised me though, and told me I looked good in my borrowed clothes, which surprised me. I wondered what was going on. He's never nice, especially not to me, because I'm best friends with his little bro, and they don't get on. The sort of not getting on, in the way that cats and birds don't get on - if you know what I mean.
Or lions and deer.
Piranha and cows too.
Anyway, he told me I looked upset and to come into his house for a while, to calm down. He said he had some wine, and it would make me feel better.
I thought that was a good idea. If I got drunk I'd be able to forget for a while, and so I followed him in.
I don't know what the hell I was doing. If Herc knew I was making nice with his brother, he'd go ballistic, but I didn't care right them. He had humiliated me and I didn't give a flying fuck what he thought.
Big bro (I'll call him Ari) sat me down in his private quarters and gave me some wine. It was nice stuff, and I just gulped it down. He refilled my goblet and I just carried on drinking. Finally I told him all about what had happened.
He surprised me. He was really sympathetic, and told me that he, too, had feelings for someone who wouldn't reciprocate his love. We complained about our lot for a while and got on really well, crying on each other's shoulders... well, I did. He's not the type to cry. Me, I just let it all hang out, you know?
He was a really nice guy once I got to know him, and started thinking he must be really lonely. His job isn't exactly desirable and he makes a lot of enemies. I began to understand him a little better, and wondered why him and Herc couldn't get on. Herc's a pretty easy going guy, but I only ever saw him hate one person worse, and that's his stepmother.
(Ok. I understand why, there. I mean she was responsible for killing his wife and kids)
Anyway, I'm straying off the story.
Ari and I shot the shit a bit, and suddenly he started telling me how beautiful I was, how blue my eyes were, how gold my hair, and I'm ashamed to say, I fell for his flattery.
Not that he wasn't desirable without having a silver tongue. I already said he had a body to die for, and his face is just perfect, but when he kissed me, I just fell into his arms without even thinking about Herc.
So much for being in love with him, huh?
Oh gods. You said you wanted details. I REALLY hope Herc doesn't see this one.
On second thoughts, I'll write about it in the next letter. I'm staying with Ari for a while, and I'm not exactly alone here, besides, this is growing to be a bit of an opus.
I really hope I'm doing the right thing.

I read your letter with interest, and hope that you'll write me soon, and tell me how you get on with Ari. Perhaps this is just what you need to forget Herc. You need to be out of his sight for a while.
I think he was unbelievably cruel and doesn't deserve you.
It sounds like you and Ari are both lonely and need each other, at least until you can resolve your problems.
Tell me all the juicy details, and good luck.

I don't know what to do. I tried to make up with my friend, Io, like you told me to, and he ignored me. I must have really hurt him.
At the banquet, I could see him hitting on some girl next to him, and also I kept catching my brother feeling him up under the table. It really annoyed me, and Io was loving every second.
I tried thinking about what you said to me, and watched him. He did look really nice in his new clothes, and the blue of the shirt really brought out his beautiful eyes.
I never noticed how gorgeous they were before... how full of life and...
Well. Anyway. I sat there and tried to think about him like you said, and the weirdest thing happened.
I was just imagining me holding him and kissing him, and I got the most painful erection I ever had in my life. I just sat there, hoping no one would notice, and getting more and more embarrassed about the way I had reacted.
Io seemed to realise something was wrong, because he had this huge grin on his face. At one point I could see he was struggling to stop laughing aloud, and after a while he left the table.
I could hear that infuriating cackling even out in the corridor.
Meanwhile, deprived of her object of attention, the girl Io had been chatting up, turned her attention to me, and I felt her hand on my legs... creeping upwards. I was about to move away when Io came back and sat down.
The look he gave me just made me mad. He was enjoying this.
I was really horrible to him. I couldn't help it. Suddenly realising you were right, and what that girl was doing to me just confused me. I said something about him being a slut, and he got more angry than I ever saw him.
He started yelling at me about being a hero, and how he always had to live up to my high expectations. That stung. I never tried to stop him doing anything, so I just opened my mouth and said the first thing that came to mind.
Oh, gods. I wish I hadn't. I shouted at him that he was only sleeping with my brother because he couldn't have me.
The whole place went deadly silent, and everyone stared at us. Iphy looked like a thunder-bolt had hit him and Io looked pale as a ghost.
I started to apologise, but Io just ran out of the room, and I haven't seen him since.
Now my brother isn't talking to me, and Io has been gone two days. I'm so worried about him. I just want to tell him how sorry I am, and explain to him that it was jealousy that was making me say those terrible things to him.
You were right, Auntie. I do want him, but now I think I've really fucked it up. He'll never speak to me again, that's assuming I can find him.
What can I do?

Dear Worried of Corinth.
Well you did a really stupid thing, didn't you? You really ought to start thinking before you open your big, fat mouth.
You will have to try and find him. Why don't you try some of the temples around Corinth? I bet he hasn't gone far. It sounds like he loves you too much to go very far. I'm sure he's just calming down in a temple, using quiet contemplation to solve his own problems. That's what most mortals do when faced with a crisis, or so I've noted.
I'm sure you will find him wanting a big strong shoulder to cry on, and willing to forgive you your every sin.
But in future, think before you speak. He sounds like a sensitive soul, and living in your shadow can't be easy for him. You need to show him how much you care for him, not in just a sexual way, but as a person.
Good luck finding him. Let me know how it goes.

It's been a while since my last letter. Things have been happening rather fast, and I think I'm in even deeper shit than I was before, if that's possible.
Anyhow. I promised you details of what happened with Ari, so here they are.

When you last heard from me, we were drinking and he was telling me how beautiful I was. I think I must have really needed the flattery right then, because when he kissed me, I just melted into his arms.
Yeah. I know. I shouldn't have, but... I was upset at what Herc had told me and I think I wanted to get some of my own back on him.
Ari's kiss was like fire on my lips. I could feel him exploring me, tasting me, and it was such a turn on, knowing this powerful being wanted me.. even if it was just for a little while. I moaned and kissed him back, just as passionately, opening myself to him, feeling his hands on me, stroking me, opening my shirt and gently caressing my nipples.
Gods! I love my nipples being touched like that. It was as if he knew exactly what to do to send me into a gooey, molten mess on his floor.
Next thing I know, he's picked me up in his arms and he's kissing me more and more as he takes me to the bed chamber. I just let him, putting my arms around his neck and nuzzling into his soft hair, licking at his earlobe. I could hear his breathing getting heavier and he lay me on the bed, and knelt above me, crouched there like a lion. His eyes were the deepest shade of brown I ever saw, almost black, and the look he was giving me just set my cock on fire.
I told him I wanted him, and he kissed me again and again, his teeth biting at my lips, his own lips capturing mine, and sucking on them, drawing my tongue into his mouth.
I was moaning and gasping like a bellows by this time. I needed him to fuck me until my brain exploded - just take me violently. I wanted him to make me forget about Herc.
He slowly undressed me, kissing and biting every inch of flesh that he uncovered. I grabbed his hair, tangling my fingers in his curls, arching my back to make the touch more. He teased me until I just begged him shamelessly to do whatever he wanted to me. This guy was so fucking horny. I didn't care that I was being the slut Herc had told me I was.
I reached down and took hold of Ari's cock in my hand. Man. You have never seen such a cock in your life. It was long and thick and jutted out from a nest of ebony curls, slick with the juices dribbling from it. I just had to taste it.
He knew what I wanted and straddled me, pushing his hips upwards, toward my seeking lips and I took him in, sucking slowly on him, hearing him gasp and urge me on.
He fucked my mouth for a while, almost choking me a few times in the process, until he grew impatient. He pulled out and got off me, flipping me over onto my stomach effortlessly. I knew I was going to get reamed and I just got up on my hands and knees, telling him to do it.
He picked up an oil bottle that was next to the bed, then coated his fingers in it. I nearly screamed as he slid first one, then two fingers inside me, as far up as he could. I bit into the pillow, trying not to scream, but he told me to. He told me he wanted to hear me scream his name, and he wasn't going to fuck me, or let me come until I had.
I'm enough of a masochist that I didn't cry out immediately. I just wanted to feel him finger fucking me for a while - let the sensation of pressure and pleasure build up higher and higher until I couldn't bear it any longer.
My cock was aching with need, and he teased me, just lightly rubbing his fingers over the tip, flicking his fingernails over the slit, until I didn't know whether I was coming or going. (Yeah. I know one's white and one's yellow, but you know what I mean.) I couldn't make up my mind whether to thrust forward to try and get his hand to stroke me harder, or push back onto his burrowing fingers.
Well, it finally got too much! I just screamed out his name, pleading with him to fuck me, desperately needing to come. I needed it so bad, that Zeus, Hera and all the other gods could've danced in and done the Hokey-Kokey in pink tutu's, and I wouldn't have taken a blind bit of notice. My whole being was centred on his fingers in my ass and those tantalising digits were driving me nuts.
At last!!!! He pulled his fingers out of me, and just shoved his cock into my ass. I screamed again, ramming my hips back onto him, feeling his balls slam into my ass-cheeks, then he started to fuck me, deeply and as hard as he could, without actually breaking me into smithereens.
It seemed to go on for ages. I could feel him working my cock in time with his thrusts, but he was hurting me, and it broke my concentration enough that I just couldn't come. By this time I was a gibbering heap, moaning and sobbing for him to please let me come, but he teased me, calling me his whore, slut and all kinds of other names, and that I didn't deserve to come, because I was his little pet and was only there for his pleasure.
And I loved every fucking minute of it.
With a cry he finally pumped his load into me, fucking me so deep I thought he was going to rupture something, but gods it felt so good. My whole body was aching with desire and desperation, and I felt his hot come spurt in me. he pulled out of me fast, letting the last of his seed fall onto my back, then I felt one hand rubbing it into my skin, the other hand scratched down my hip, leaving huge welts.
I just collapsed to the bed, not caring anymore that I hadn't come. I just wanted to lay still and let my head stop pounding. My whole body felt like it was all ass. Every feeling was centred in that place he had just so thoroughly given a good fucking. My cock came out second best. I cried into the pillow, not in pain, but in pleasure, not wanting to be touched, I was so sensitive.
But he took hold of me and pulled me over onto my back. I lay limp beneath him, letting him do what he wanted.
He wanted to make me come.
I didn't think the human mind could take such a surfeit of pleasure and stay sane, but I managed it. His mouth round my cock, sucking slowly and lasciviously. His fingers once more sliding up my sopping wet ass just sent me wild and I think I came within about the third thrust of his fingers, bucking upwards into his mouth, crying out his name over and over.
Finally it was over. He started kissing me and stroking me gently, bringing me down from the very top of Olympus. I could only lay in his arms, moaning and gasping, and fell asleep to the sound of him whispering my name in my ear.

It was pretty much like that for the next few days. We fucked over and over. He was insatiable, and I was a slave to his every need. I never wanted to leave him, but nagging away at the back of my mind was that Herc would be worried about me.
He seemed to know what I was thinking, and told me the man I loved wasn't looking for me at all. He had gone to Athens to see another one of his friends. I don't know why I believed him. Herc wouldn't do that to me, even if we had had a fight, but it was like he had hypnotised me, keeping me there in limbo for his own uses.
You know what? I really didn't care.... not anymore. Herc had called me a slut. Ari called me worse, and I just took it. If that was what they thought of me, then that was what I would be. It wasn't exactly unpleasant.

After about the third day, I was laying in Ari's bed, with him on top of me. He was doing his best to tickle my belly button - from the inside - and I was in no fit state to hear the commotion that was going on in the main part of the house, until the door burst open and I heard Herc's voice.
I opened my eyes and looked up. He was stood there looking like he was about to shit a brick... no... make that the whole fucking castle. I'd never seen him look so angry in my life and I thought he was going to tear me limb from limb.
Instead he went for his brother, and I thought it best if I got out of there. When those two got pissed at each other, things started getting broken... furniture, walls... Corinth - that kind of thing.
I've got no idea how he knew I was here. Someone must have told him to start looking in the temples for me. I'll kill them if I ever find them.
Anyhow, I didn't have anywhere to go, so I just took off for the hills. I thought it best to try and put as much distance between him and me until he calmed down.
Now I'm holed up in a cave in the middle of some mountain range I've never heard of. I'm fucking freezing cold in the thin clothes Iphy gave me, and I'm starving. I've got no weapons, nothing to make any with and even if I could, I haven't seen so much as a lizard since I've been here.
What do I do now? I can't go back to Herc. He'd never speak to me again. Iphy's probably on his side too. He doesn't like Ari either, and they're probably baying for my blood. Ari won't want me back after all the trouble I caused, and I don't know anyone that I could go to where Herc couldn't find me.
Is it nice in Greenland at this time of year?

I'm sorry to hear you're in a bit of a mess. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like Greenland. It's pretty cold and not green at all. It's all a myth perpetuated by Odin to try and get tourists to the area. His son Thor likes to chuck thunder-bolts at foreigners, and Odin indulges him.
Anyway. I have a really good recipe for mountain grass soup that might do you for now, but I really think you should come down from the mountains, go to Herc and beg his forgiveness. I have a feeling if you tell him how you only did it because he hurt you so much, he would forgive you. It sounds like he's wildly jealous of you and his brothers. I think you should give him a chance. I'm sure he's not as bad tempered as you make out.
Why don't you give it a try? Herc deserves a chance to forgive you, and if he doesn't, well, it's really not so bad in the Underworld and Hades is a nice guy. I'm sure he'd understand and send you straight to the Elysian fields once he finds out what happened.
Let me know what happens.

Put mountain grass into a pot together with 2 cups of water and boil until water is almost gone, leaving a greenish mess. Add another cup of water and heat once more. Once boiling, strain through a piece of muslin or a handy shirt, until you are left with the liquid. Swirl the grass remains into the soup in a pretty pattern, then garnish with parsley and add salt to your taste.

I don't know why I'm writing you. I've never done this before, but now I've got a problem, and I just need advice.
I'm a busy man. I'm in charge of co-ordinating wars all round Greece, and it's a pretty lonely life. I get along by giving everyone the hard stare and mean looks, but truth is, I think I'm in love with another guy.
Well, not love. I've never been 'in love'. I leave that to my sister, but there's this guy who's pretty high up in Corinth. He's one horny little number (and not so little) I just want him so badly, but every time I go to his place and try to persuade him to let me fuck him, he tells me to leave him alone.
I guess I could just take him by force, but sometimes I get pissed off with being the bad guy, and want to take it easy.
Anyway, a few days ago I found out that my horrible little half brother's friend has been sleeping with the guy I want.
I was furious. I threw a few tantrums, and dismissed all my employees at the house, then wrecked a few things, but finally I calmed down. I admit I was curious. This little friend of my half brothers is another little goody-two shoes, but he has got a good body on him, and I've often wondered what it would be like to ream him from here to Olympus.
So, using ah... certain methods at my disposal, I sneaked into my paramours house one night and watched the blond guy.
Well, seeing him getting fucked by the guy I wanted was pretty hot. The little guy is a real slut, takes and gives it any which way, but the funny thing was later and gave me a few ideas.
You see, I realised, by watching him that he didn't feel anything for my guy at all except a good healthy dose of lust, and was in fact madly in love with Herc, my interfering, heroic half brother; and although that moralistic ass virgin Herc seemed not to be interested in him, I could see the jealousy burning in his eyes whenever little Io talked to, and touched Iph.

Even better, Herc and Io had a huge argument that night, and Io walked out, crying like a baby, leaving little bro looking like someone just slit his throat.

I noted with interest that Herc had this really weird look on his face, like he had just lost the love he'd only just found.
Yeah. That dick wanted Io, and not only that, it was the hearts and flowers type of thing, not just pure lust. Ain't it cute?
I hurried back to my place, and much to my extreme gratification found Io sitting outside the house looking miserable as sin. I began to get a nice little idea, and dragged him in for a bit of comfort.
Actually, Io is a sweet guy. His hearts in the right place, and he fights like a lion, which, in my line of work, I appreciate greatly. I found myself telling him my woes too (just to lure him into a false sense of security, you understand), and then I plainly out and out seduced him.

What a great fuck he is. I never realised that under that sunny, do goodie nature there was such a fire-bomb waiting to go off. I fucked his brains out so many time, it even exhausted me, which, believe me is pretty hard to do. In between taking him left, right and centre, I left him to go see how Herc was doing.
Well the guy was in mourning. Anyone would think Io had died. He was searching for him everywhere. I just couldn't stop laughing. Io was so busy having me up his quite delectable little ass that he'd forgotten about Herc, and meanwhile Herc was beating seven shades of shit out of himself for letting him go.

But some bastard had told Herc where io was and a few days later he came bursting into my house and Io scarpered in fear.

Me and Herc had one of our usual fights. We've been told by dad we aren't allowed to kill each other, and although I'm a mean mutha, I'm really scared of dad. (Don't tell anyone I said that) We pounded on each other a few times, broke a few things, yelled and shouted at each other, then he fucked off to try and find where Io had gone.
I don't know why I'm telling you all this. It's totally superfluous to my problem.
So the problem's this. Once Herc and Io were back out of my life, I started wanting the other guy again. I can't get him out of my head, but he won't have a thing to do with me. I guess too much of Herc (Who happens to be his half brother too) has rubbed off on him.
How in Tartarus do I get into his pants? This is starting to drive me nuts. I need your help.

Well, that really does answer your question, doesn't it? You're a mean mutha, and you take what you want, without regard to other people's feelings. Didn't it ever occur to you that this man you want so bad may not want to be taken, like a sack of wheat?
Why don't you try thinking about what he wants for a change? Perhaps he's more into romantic love. Perhaps he likes to be the dominant one in a relationship? Have you ever given him the choice?
I suggest you go to him and talk to him for a change. Stop trying to get him into bed. Take him out for a meal, perhaps even send him a gift. Most men I know do like a good horse, or even the best sword money can buy. You need to show him you care for him.
Forget about your reputation for a moment. Sometimes it will turn against you. You need to show him that underneath all that growling and snarling that you are a sensitive being.
As for your brother Herc. I think you shouldn't interfere with him and Io any more. You caused enough problems. Concentrate on your love life, and not his.

I took your advice and went searching for Io in the temples around Corinth. You were right on the dinar.
I found out he had been at one of the temples and tracked him down to my brother's place. My other half-brother, I'll call him Ar.
I burst into his bedroom and...oh gods, I'll never forget that sight!
Io and Ar were on the bed together. Io was writhing under my brother's hands, and at first I was frozen. He was so beautiful in the throes of ecstasy...if only it was me there instead of...
Anyway, Ar gave me one of his typical arrogant sneers and I snapped. Io had realised I was there and it was like he had seen a ghost, but I was too busy charging after my brother to notice.
I knew that Ar was only using my friend. He feels nothing for people, only takes what he can get...by force or by manipulation. I wanted to knock that arrogance out of him.
How dare he fuck Io like that?! He had no right to touch him!
Then we were going at each other. I knocked him into one wall and he knocked me into another. I know I made some comments about him only being able to get a piece of ass by coercion...ok it was put a bit nastier than that but you get the point.
He made some remarks about Io being a slut. That he was a pretty little whore that would take anyone who would have him since I didn't want him.
That really got me pissed. This time it was at myself though. Gods, I'd called Io a slut to his face and completely humiliated him. It's my fault he went to Ar. I was such a blasted fool.
I realised, at that point, that Ar and I were alone. Io had taken off. I gave Ar one last kick and went searching for my friend, but from what I could tell he'd taken off into the mountains.
I'm not a tracker and he's a born woodsman. I don't think I'll ever be able to find him. I just want to apologise and tell him I love him...then fuck his brains out and make him forget both Ar and Iph.

Oh dear. What a mess. First I think you should sit down, have a cup of tea and think about this.
Arguing with your brother isn't going to help your friend Io. He's a free man, and he decided to sleep with Ar. You have no right to interfere at all. How do you think he felt? he has no idea of the way you feel about him, and you probably frightened the life out of him, bursting into Ar's house like that and attacking your brother. He's probably embarrased and annoyed at you. What gives you the right to do that to him?

And how do you know that he wants to forget about Iph and Ar? The way you're going, you should be ashamed of yourself. You've decided you want him and now you are trying to bend him to your will.
He has a point. In your last letter you said that he told you he hated living in your heroic shadow,
well stop trying to live his life for him, and let him have some time to do what he wants without you sticking your nose in.

Personally I think you should take some time out. Why don't you go visit your bother, apologise to him and spend some time with him. I'm sure he's a very nice person once you get to know him. Go hunting together, or double date for a while. I don't think you'll be disappointed. why don't you get
together with your other brother Iph. You could all use a little family time. Go visit your mother, take her some flowers. Go see your dear old dad. I bet he misses you and wishes you and Ar could be much closer.

This is the first time I've ever written something like this. Usually I can get by on my dashing good looks and brilliant wit, but something's happened recently that I'm not sure how to deal with.
You see, I had just sto--I was just trying to esca--I was travelling through some mountains when I came across an old friend. Ok, not really a friend...we're not that close.
Ok, he's mentioned killing me on several occasions.
Anyway, I've always secretly had this thing for him. I mean who wouldn't? Soft golden curls, eyes the colour of the sky, a body that just begs to be touched. He's beautiful!
Ok, back to the problem. See this guy, I'll call him Io, somehow ended up in these same mountains wearing very inappropriate clothing. I mean it's beautiful, which suits him, but hardly keeps you protected from the weather up here. Although the weather isn't the only threat when you look THAT
good.
Where was I? Oh yeah. So when I came across him he was unconscious and feverish. Not that I'm really surprised. Besides the weather you should've seen this stuff he was eating! Looked like grass!
Anyway, I had some provisions with me...Always have to think ahead in my line of business. I wrapped him up in a blanket and cared for him as best as I could. I held him and stroked his damp curls and felt myself falling for him more and more each day.
Well, the weather got even colder one night and I had to find a way to be sure he kept warm. The blanket and fire helped, but a chill could kill him after all. So, I decided body heat would be the best bet. I stripped him and then took my own clothes off, and cuddled him to me.
Now, don't get the wrong impression. Even I wasn't about to molest a sick, helpless man like that...it was totally innocent. But his skin...it's smoother and softer than any silk I've touched and having him in my arms seemed the most natural thing in the world. I even caught myself kissing the top of his head. I knew I had it bad then.
Anyway, he woke finally the next day. The problem was that for some reason he seemed not to really know who he was. I don't know why, doesn't seem to be any physical reason like a blow to the head. So, I guess, when he saw the way we were lying he came to the conclusion that we were lovers. He kissed me on the cheek as I was waking up and nuzzled into my chest.

Oh gods, I can't take this. It's been this way for a week. He doesn't know who he is or anything except what I tell him....which hasn't been much.
I know I should tell him the truth, but when he looks at me with those big blue eyes I start warring with myself. We've done no more than cuddle, but I want so much to make love to him.
I can't bring myself to take advantage of him, but I can't seem to tell him the truth either. I just wish I knew what happened to bring him up here and have him in this state.
I've held out this long...thanks to the cold...but don't know how much longer I can resist the urge to just take that beautiful golden body for myself. What should I do?

You letter made me feel quite emotional. You obviously like this man a lot.
As he seems to me he's lost his memory, It seems he's been traumatised by something and wants to forget, which is where you come in.
You seem a king -hearted honest sort of man. I suggest you should continue to let him think you are lovers. Take him in your arms, man. Love him (and tell me all the details.).
I'm sure he will respond to you ardently, and also it seems he needs your warm compassionate embrace. Go for it. Treat him kindly and keep him away from anything that might hurt him.
I don't know why he was eating mountain grass. Doesn't he know that the stuff is poisonous? I wonder who gave him the idea who do that. Stupid man.
He needs nursing back to health. I suggest you take him to the nearest town, get a room for a week or so and look after him. Make a few offerings to Aphrodite, and you never know, he might fall deeply in love with you. I think you deserve him after all the help you have given him.

I'm a cook and hear you have a really good recipe for Mountain grass soup. I am always trying to expand my culinary skills, so wonder if I could have the recipe, so I can make my clients taste buds sing with delight.

Put mountain grass into a pot together with 2 cups of water and boil until
water is almost gone, leaving a greenish mess. Add another cup of water and
heat once more. Once boiling, strain through a piece of muslin or a handy
shirt, until you are left with the liquid. Swirl the grass remains into the
soup in a pretty pattern, then garnish with parsley and add salt to your
taste.