The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Mulders

NEW! 6/6/00 Rating PG-13 End cruelty to Mulders now with the ASPCM. Gen version here.

The Spotter's Guides

The Spotter's Guide to the Common Krycek

Rating PG-13 Hmm... Ever wondered exactly what kind of Krycek you've spotted lurking in that alleyway? Your quick and easy guide to all the common Kryceks.

The Spotter's Guide to the Common Mulder

Rating PG-13 What's the best way to handle a depressed Mulder? Better find out fast. Your quick and easy guide to all the common Mulders.

Coming soon: The Common Skinner, if there is such a thing...

Torture!

Muldertorture Rating PG-13

The first webfiction I ever wrote. I was delighted when this was nominated for a 1997 Whammy award. This is a parody of X-files slash. Mulder is a helpless prisoner in the dungeons of fanfic (slash division). Can the Lone Gunmen get him out, or will they too be taken prisoner?

Methostorture Rating PG-13

The sequel to Muldertorture. Mulder's not the only one in that Dungeon, no sirree! Everybody's favorite Real Old Guy is stuck in there too. Will spin-off girl Alex Raven succeed where the Lone Gunmen failed and get HIM out?

Skinnertorture Rating PG-13

AD Skinner's having a bad time. He's not getting any work done because those pesky slash writers keep making him have sex with his most troublesome agent. He wants it stopped, but can even AD Skinner prevail against the Dungeons of Fanfic (Slash Division)?

Miscellaneous Silliness

Denial Rated PG-13

A short fluff piece, written after the ATXC reaction to the events of the episode 'The Red and the Black'.

Multiple Choice Rating PG-13

Not even a proper story, just a piece of Sentinel silliness I wrote this evening. It's the Cosmo quiz guide to Sentinel fiction. Let me know if you think it's a) funny or b) totally sucks.

Drawing the Line Rating PG-13

Run for your lives! It's a canon raid!

Hit The Delete Key! Rating PG-13

Fanfic I don't want to see posted next year. May be updated if and when I feel like it.

The Mary Sue Drinking Game Rating PG-13

Some Christmas fun. Thanks to Sharyl for inspiring it. And remember, kids, don't drink and drive this Christmas.

Dear Mr Mulder... Rating PG-13

Concerning the living hell of being Fox Mulder's next door neighbour.

Wombats enjoy feedback almost as much as they enjoy grubs, insects, roots and the occasional square of chocolate. Got any comments? Pleasepleaseplease email me at: thewombat@dial.pipex.com

Disclaimer: no cows were killed or injured in the making of this website. Cows have suffered enough - Gary Larson cartoons, films like Apocalypse Now, Starship Troopers, the infamous cow tipping scene in Heathers... Cows have a pretty rough deal all round, and I don't want to add to that. Me, I haven't even eaten a burger since 1985, except this one time I went to Prague and the alternative was some kind of national dish involving pig trotters. Anyway, I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise to cows everywhere. The Prague thing won't happen again, guys, and that's a promise.

Thanks also to fellow opponents of cow abuse in the movies who have pointed out other examples of gratuitous bovicide. Never let it be said this website isn't afraid to point a finger (paw, whatever) at the guilty. Step forward, the directors of Jurassic Park, Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Twister, and let the world see your shame!