Dear Mr Mulder,

I feel I ought to tell you that I met a young man in black leather outside
your door the other day. He said that you'd asked him to feed your fish and
forgotten to give him your key. Since he seemed quite friendly and appeared
to know you, I arranged with the caretaker to lend him the spare until you
got back. Hope this is OK!

Tina

*************

Dear Mr Mulder

There was someone else trying to get into your apartment this morning - a
tall balding gentleman wearing a trenchcoat. Apparently you asked him to
feed your fish too, and you hadn't given him a key either! I told him I'd
given the spare to the man in the leather jacket and he seemed most put out.
Oh well, as long as one of them is feeding your fish, I don't suppose it
matters too much!

Tina

*************
Dear Mr Mulder

The young man in the black leather was here again today. Apparently you
changed your lock and forgot to give him the new key again. I really can't
keep lending him the spare like this.

Tina

P.S I notice that you are still keeping your TV on through the night, also
that you're still practising with your basketball inside the building. Do
you *ever* read any of my notes?

*************

Mr Mulder,

I had to use the lift last night after straining my ankle quite badly after
a visit to the gym, and I was quite horrified when the doors opened to
reveal the black gentleman who visits you from time to time fighting with
the tall bald gentleman from your office. Now I'm aware that your private
life is none of my business but I'd appreciate it if you would ask your
friends to take their personal quarrels to a more appropriate location,
especially when you are away on one of your cases.

Tina

P.S Your mail was building up in your box while you were away, so I'm
keeping it safe in my apartment for the time being, since it seems to
include a couple of parcels of videos. Someone seems to have sent you a
Victoria's Secret catalogue by mistake! Sometimes I swear I don't know how
these companies get hold of people's names!

*************

Residents' Newsletter

I have had a number of complaints about fast food deliveries being made to
the building at all hours of the night. Please could residents be more
considerate, especially late at night when others are trying to sleep.

Also, has anyone else noticed that there seems to be a lot more helicopter
traffic over the building at night these days? No word from the management
company about fitting energy efficient window units to keep the noise down,
but we live in hope!

*************

Residents' Newsletter

Good news! It seems that our hard water problems will soon be a thing of
the past! I ran into the engineers on their way upstairs to fit a new water
softener, so no more grumbles about the management company never doing
anything for us! The engineers told me that there may be a slightly funny
taste in the water for a couple of days, but when I drank some earlier it
seemed fine to me. Anyway, just a short newsletter today. I have quite a
bad headache and the disembodied voices of the Brady Bunch are being beamed
down into my apartment by secret government spy bases on the moon, so I'm
having to keep all the lights turned off. I think the foil helmet is
helping, and at least the voices aren't plotting against me like Mr Sczlaruk
in number 12 and the Lincolns in number 22.

Tina

P.S The invisible kitty that lives behind the walls wants me to tell you
that I hate my mother.

*************
Residents' Newsletter

...all shocked and saddened at the murder of long time resident Mr Lebowski
by his wife. It's unexpected tragedy like this that draws us all more
closely together.
On a more personal note, thank you all for your concern for my health after
my last newsletter. Good news - the psychiatrist says that my little
'episode' was due to an allergy to the new water softening chemicals and I
should be out of the secure facility and back with you in two or three days,
pending a few routine tests...

*************

Mr Mulder,

I was quite appalled to receive news that you were involved in a shoot-out
with your partner and the dark haired gentleman in the leather jacket
outside the building last night. This is a residential area, not a shooting
range. Next time I will call the police.

Ms Wicker

P.S I most sincerely hope that isn't a bullet hole in your window.

****************

Mr Mulder

I and the other residents would appreciate it if you, your partner and your
boss would take your arguments elsewhere. May I remind you again how thin
the walls of these apartments are? I understand that people in most jobs
settle their workplace differences by sitting down and talking it out around
a table, not by shouting and threatening each other with firearms.

Ms Wicker

P.S Next time I will most definitely call the police.

****************

Mr Mulder

Please remind your friend, Ms Scully, that dogs are not allowed in this
building. Could you also mention that perhaps she should also consider
feeding it more often. Old Mrs Grant mentioned to me earlier today that it
was giving her some very hungry looks.

Ms Wicker

***************

Dear Dana

Hi! It was great to finally meet you. Who would believe that agent Mulder
would have such a down to earth partner? I was sorry to hear about your
little dog, what a tragic way for him to be killed. Thanks for your advice
about going for that Internet date I was telling you about. It wasn't
really that much of a success, to be honest. I lost all that weight but
when I met him he just didn't seem to be interested. Oh well, those are the
breaks, I guess.

Tina

P.S I wonder if you could mention to your partner about keeping his
television turned down, also could you remind him of the new resident's
committee guidelines about fast food deliveries after midnight and the
playing of ballgames indoors?

**************

Mr Mulder,

Please stop bouncing your basketball on the walls and ceiling! It is most
inconsiderate and extremely distracting for other residents. I notice that
you have tape over your window again - if you have managed to break it
again, may I remind you again that you need to submit a form to maintenance.

Ms Wicker

***************

Residents' Newsletter

...all shocked and saddened at the recent murder of a visitor to the
building just outside Mr Mulder's apartment. The police have assured me
that the killing was a shocking but random act of violence, and the building
management will be replacing all the locks and fitting additional security
measures...

****************

Mr Mulder

No, I'm afraid that I'll be unable to feed your fish while you go on
holiday. Why don't you get the young man in the black leather jacket to do
it, I had to let him into your apartment *again* the other day. If you
asked him to keep an eye on the place while the maintenance men rechecked
the wiring you should at least have given him an up-to-date key. He's
knocked on my door so many times we're practically on first name terms.
It's all right for now, though, I've given him your spare so he can get a
copy made. Incidentally, he was looking rather the worse for wear. Has he
done something to his arm?

Ms Wicker

***************

Residents' Newsletter

'... all shocked and saddened by yet another death, that of Mr Ostlehoff
from flat 52 who apparently chose Mr Mulder's apartment in which to shoot
himself. The victim was not, as at first believed, Mr Mulder. Condolences
to Mr Ostlehoff's family. Goodbye also to Mrs Lee and Ms Goldman, both of
whom are moving out at the end of the week. May I remind tenants that
although the management company has been very understanding in this
instance, a month's notice is normally required...'

*************

Dear Fox

What a pleasant conversation we had in the hall the other day! It just
shows that anyone can be a good neighbour if they just make the effort! You
almost seemed like a different person.

Tina

P.S I hope your visit to Dana went well! It's kind of flattering that you
came to me for advice about finally asking her out. All I can say is, it's
about time! We were all starting to think you were a hopeless case!

*************

Excerpt from Letter from Tina Wicker to the Manager, Hidden Agenda DC City
Tours

...if you do not refrain from including Hegal Place on your 'Conspiracy
Theory Trail' tour of the greater DC area I will be forced to ask the
building owner to take legal action...

*************
Residents' Newsletter

...and to Ms Miller for her new partnership in local law firm Carter, Black
and Davies. Finally Mr Mulder seems to have achieved notoriety in the
tabloid press again. ('Slayings linked to Texas Trailer Trash Vampires')...

*************

Mr Mulder

If you must entertain your young friend in the black leather jacket, the
very least you could do is shut the door behind you. I appreciate that
these are the 1990's, but the door does lead onto a communal hallway and
some of our residents are quite elderly and easily shocked. I appreciate
too that a quick kiss on the cheek does not triple X material make, but
really, try to be a little more discreet about your love life.

Tina Wicker

P.S I take it your date with Dana didn't work out?

*************

Washington Post : Property section cutting

'... crime rates among the lowest in the DC area. Our verdict - certainly
worth considering if you're thinking of starting a family. On the other end
of the scale are the unlucky residents of Hegal Place in Alexandria, an
apartment building with a murder/suicide rate similar to those in the worst
of Washington's crime infested housing projects. City officials are
mystified as to why this small block of unremarkable apartments, populated
in the main by retired couples and young, single professionals, has averaged
one violent death or attempted murder a year over the last few years.
However if you do feel like taking the risk, property prices in the
surrounding area are falling all the time...'

*************

Residents' Newsletter

...still awaiting an explanation for last week's shooting incident outside
the apartment block, witnessed by a number of residents, involving Mr Mulder
and an ambulance driver. Apparently, Mr Mulder left for Antarctica
immediately after being discharged from hospital and will be unavailable for
the next several days. I'm certain that when he returns he'll be able to
explain this to everyone's satisfaction before I bring this matter up with
the building management...'


*************

Type-written letter, smelling strongly of cigarette smoke.

Dear Mrs Wicker,

Re: 2360 Hegal Place

I've examined with interest the extensive file you have been kind enough to
send me about the activities of my tenant, Mr Fox Mulder of apartment number
42.

However as the landlord I simply do not have the grounds to evict Mr Mulder.
None of the murders or suicides in the apartment block have been directly
linked to Mr Mulder by the police, and I fail to see how he could possibly
be responsible for your allergy to the new water softening chemicals, the
disappearance of foodstuffs from the communal freezer or the air vent covers
being mysteriously unscrewed.

While Mr Mulder may have some rather undesirable friends, and may not always
be entirely considerate of his neighbours, he does appear to be more sinned
against than sinning. I feel that perhaps a little more tolerance on your
part may be called for. I hesitate to mention it, but it appears that you
have become rather obsessed with Mr Mulder of late. It may not be my place
to suggest it, but considering the 'allergy' episode you described, perhaps
you should consider seeking professional help.

Yours sincerely

William Morley (landlord)