With my name being Bob, my wife Kathrin and I have noticed that any film worth its plastic has a Bob (or Rob / Robert / Bobby / Robby etc.) in it. It works on the premise that anyone called Bob has got to be a really friendly, average and nice..
Hence, there's three main categories of Bob :
A) At its very best, Bob is the name given to someone who is either totally weird, or who ought to be nice but most definitely isn't. (a sort of counter all round nice and average Bob)
B) Amazingly commonly, it's the name given to the most under used character in the film - often listed in the credits as '3rd policeman' or '3rd policeman's brother' - it implicitly gives the character a hidden, unnoticable averageness. Also in this category is the incidental name of a shop, or company etc.
C) At it's worse, it's a really nice Bob ... who really is nice.
Here's the evidence.
Bob Rating system . Naff Bob =* Classic Bob =*****
(A) = Category A - Letter in brackets equals the category as described above.
Air Force One
President of the United States, James Marshall (Harrison Ford) must have been watching too many Steven Segal / Bruce Willis films leading to an urge to single handedly take on some terrorist psychopaths. When it becomes time to fly the transport he is saving, he asks for someone to instruct him via the radio. Colonel Jackson comes over the headphones, ' Bob!' says the President, chumily.
Bob Rating: ** Bob's a bit of a bore, but he is rescued in the Bob Rating because it's so like Airplane! played straight, it's just got to be a spoof ... hasn't it? (C)
Best
It's 1970ish George Best (John Lynch) is just your run of the mill, in-a-class-of-his own, misunderstood, natrually talented, genious footballer struggling to come to terms with his own alcoholism and self destruction whilst at the peak of his powers. The last thing he needs is an interferring goody goody spreading rumours behind his back which aim to highlight his already obvious lack of professionalism. Hence he snidely calls the Manchester United hero-captain, SIR Bobby Charlton (Jerome Flynn) ... the irony...
Bob Rating: ** Sir Bobby was just earning points as a baddy when he goes and makes up with George in the final reel by giving him an unexpected hug ! Very disappointing.(C)
Bob Roberts
Behind the veneer Bob Roberts (Tim Robbins) is a decidedly not nice political figure.
Bob Rating: ***** It's there in the title twice, says it all.(A)
The Edge
Bob (Alec Baldwin) survives a plane crash in the middle of bear country with a Billionaire (Anthony Hopkins) and a man so fated to die Bob had wisely given up an earlier attempt at rescue. They only have each other to ensure survival. But Bob has an eye for the Billionaire's wife and the Billionaire's billions ... or has he ? Or hasn't he ? Or has he ?...etc.
Bob Rating: **** Bob is just far too nice for far too much of the film to qualify for that last *.(A)
Elizabeth
Robert Dudley, the Earl of Leicester (Tudor-typecast, Joseph Fiennes) obviously hadn't read his history books as he attempts to revamp old sexual relations with the soon-to-be-virgin, Queen Elizabeth (Cate Blanchett). If he had, he may have avoided being lured into a plot to displace her ...
Bob Rating : **** Robert is a bit laddish with the future Queen ... and attempts treason ... but let's face it, Elizabeth was wearing the trousers, and soon had him in her pocket. (A)
Entrapment(1)
Insurance investigators Hector Cruz (Will Patton) and Virginnia 'Gin' Baker (Catherine Zeta-Jones) are getting their heads together to discover the likely suspect of a highly skilled cat burglary of a masterpiece painting. To enhance the picture on a video of the last auction of the painting, they turn to a computer operator. 'May I Bob?' asks Gin ,'Good work, Bob' says Hector when he isolates chief villain, Mac (Sean Connery)'s face.
Bob Rating : ** One for each name check ! Nearly got a third for the fabulous puzzled expression he pulls before the camera leaves him for all time. (P.S. not sure which actor played Bob.) (B)
Entrapment (2)
Called 'Mac' throughout the film, but his full name is ... Robert MacDougal (Sean Connery).
Bob Rating: * Don't get me wrong, this character is fabulous. Sean Connery makes quite a convincing Scotsman - and he's dour yet witty and exciting, aged yet athletic and young spirited, enigmatic yet ... and so on, ... however, he doesn't call himself Bob, but 'Mac'!!! Go away Robert MacDougal and don't waste your time on my page again.(A)
Evolution
Wayne Green (Seann William Scott) is out in the wilderness practising for his fireman's exam when he is hit by an evolution sparking meteorite. Next day he's still at the scene being held for questionning by the police. Dr Ira Kane (David Duchovny) poses as an expert sent by the Government and after a few questions dismisses Wayne, the police officer shouts, 'Ok let him go ... Bob'
Bob Rating: **** I wonder if the X Files are aware of this uncanny conspiracy-like use of Bob's for unnamed characters... the truth is out there ... (B)
Extreme Measures
Homeless, and drug using Bobby (John Toles-Bay), swaps plot advancing knowledge for drug scripts from Dr Guy Luthan (Hugh Grant), but in a loveable sort of way. Dr Lawrence Myrick (Gene Hackman) has better plans for him ...
Bob Rating : ** Well, he may not be your daughter's ideal date, but it's circumstances, and life's disappointments that's got him where he is, and underneath he's just an All- American businessman, so a promising start sees him slip in the rating scale.(A come C)
Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas
Journalist, Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp) has successfully trashed one Las Vagas hotel in an illicit drug crazed frenzie. He escapes the town and any bills only to be sent back in again by his editor, so that he can cover a Police Conference! As Roaul warily enters the new hotel the police swarm in the lobby, where there is one stall which advertises, ' Come See Policeman Bob !'
Bob Rating **** An incidental Bob used in it's 'Nice Bob' context. Highlight of a great scene.(B)
The General's Daughter
Bobby Moore (James Woods) is not an overspill from the 70s footballers' page, but a sinister, psychological, and ultimately somewhat camp adversary to Paul Brenner (John Travolta). Is Bobby the expired general's daughter's mentor, lover, protector or rapist ??? Well surely he's the red herring - he's far to obviously the baddy to stay that way to the end of the film.
Bob Rating : ***** Played fabulously over the top, going for the Millennial 'Bob' of the year, James Woods brings something to this film that is totally unnecessary ... a weird Bob. (A)
Ghosts of the Past (- U.S. title Ghosts of Mississippi)
Driven, empathetically inspired and aiming to right the wrongs of the past, Bobby DeLaughter (Alec Baldwin) is on a mission to prosecute the murderer of Sixties black activist, Medger Evers. Bobby's true life achievements remind me of myself - in a fantasy life that I don't have.
Bob Rating : *** Well Bobby is the star of the film, but he simply isn't weird or nasty. I won't hold this too much against him in case he's a nacissist who looks up references to himself on the Internet and gets vindictive. (C)
Holyman
'G' - the Holyman (Eddie Murphy) - is clearly on another plain as introduces himself to Ricky (Jeff Goldblum) on the highway hard shoulder. 'Hello, Ricky Robert, Robert Ricky etc'...runs the joke, which is reprised for warm-hearted comic effect in the final farewell.
Bob Rating: *** 'Robert' rarely rate as well as a good honest 'Bob', but it does get repeated several times. Unusual for being the reference for a person who IS in the film, but ISN'T called Robert.(B).
An Ideal Husband
The eponymous ideal husband, Sir Robert Chiltern (Jeremy Northam), is a politician on the rise, but like all politicians on the rise, a not so ideal secret lurks in his past.
Bob Rating: * The trouble is that Sir Bob wants to be a thoroughly decent (and dull) egg. What a bore! The rating would have risen to****** if he'd only fulfilled his youthful potential.(C)
In and Out
After the eventful wedding of Howard Brackett (Kevin Kline), his mother (Debbie Reynolds) and relatives, sat in a circle, decide to make public their best kept family secrets. One old lady's punchline revelation is that her husband has three testicles - 'Bob !!!??' say the surprised listeners.
Bob Rating : *** ... of course. (B)
Laserhawk
Let's test another theory, that those films with the longest plot summaries have the worst plots! ... Humans are about to be harvested for food by beings from outer-space. But a friendlier batch of aliens were on their way to save us when they all got killed. They did, however, still manage to pass on their life forces to several select people who spend the film finding each other so that they can go back up in the crashed space ship and kill the nasty aliens before they kill us ! Unfortunately the experience of possession severly unhinged one of them ... left rambling his tale in a psychiatric hospital his experience was converted into a comic book story by a hospital worker ( are you still with me here?) Natrually, it is this comic book that puts everybody else on the correct trail, and when they catch up with the vindicated psychiatric patient, he turns out to be called ... Bob (Mark Hammill)
Bob Rating:**** Had Mark Hamill not been called Bob in this film, I might have commented on how the mighty have fallen... (A)
Last Days of Disco
Alice (Chloe Sevigny) is believed to be the dowdy half of two female friends. But Alice is starting to get ahead, not least due catching the attention of her influential male boss, Bob (Jan Astell).
Bob Rating: ***A blink or you'll miss it performance from an otherwise nice but dangerous Bob - just how we like it. (B)
The Little Vampire
Whilst his son, Tony (Jonathan Lipnicki), is having the time of his life with the undead, Bob Thompson (Tommy Hinkley) gets on with building a golf course. 'Nuff said.
Bob Rating : * Thoroughly nice Bob even came to the vampires rescue in an all-nice helping way, when he realised they were the good guys of the film. (C)
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
Only mentioned here because the narrator quips,"and Robert is your mother's sister's husband" or some such equivalent!
Bob Rating : * Altering the Bob's Your Uncle phrase does not a Bob reference make, and we didn't get to see him...(B)
Mad City (1)
Questionably over the hill journalist hotshot Max Brackett (Dustin Hoffman) wants a particular story to which he can provide his questionable journalistic touch. His boss, Lou Potts (Robert Prosky) just isn't going to give in to him. Instead he offers the scoop to Bob (Scanlon Gail).
Bob Rating : ** Now if only Bob had been given the tame story that Max went to ... he would have been the star of the film !!! Got an extra star for this as a consolation prize. (B)
Mad City (2)
Questionably goodhearted Max Brackett (Dustin Hoffman) persuades questionably misunderstood-psycho Sam Bailey (John Travolta) to give something to the kids he's holding hostage. Along with the pizzas, a van pulls up to provide them all with free trainers, and on the side of the van we see ... 'Coach Bob's Sporting Goods'!
Bob Rating : ** Yes, not one, but TWO Bob references transforms this otherwise average film into a classic! Especially as the collectively time on screen is still under five seconds ... this rescued the rating.(B)
Mars Attacks
Sensitive and passively heroic Richie Norris (Lukas Haas) armed only with Slim Whitman records and his sweet and senile grandmother is destined to save the world from the mischievous Martians. An unexpected fate for the keen employee of ... 'Bob's Doughnuts'!!
Bob Rating : *** We didn't see Bob, but his doughnuts featured well in this Tom Jones classic.(B)
Meet the Parents
Greg, aka Gaylord Focker (Ben Stiller), is just about to propose to his girlfriend, Pam (Terri Polo), when he is interrupted by her mobile going off. She finds out that her sister is about to have the perfect wedding to a man who even asked permission from their father (Bob De Niro !). Hence the pressure was on Greg to do the same. The perfect man is Bob - Dr Robert Banks (Thomas McCarthy).
Bob Rating: ** 'Bob !', we all shouted when the fiancé's name was announced, presuming we had encountered a catagory B character. Sadly we got to meet him and he was a plum catagory C character, so much so we all hated him, of course.(C)
The Next Best Thing
Robert Whittaker (Rupert Everett) is notoriusly gay, yet one night he has a sexual fling with Fag-Hag, Abbie Reynolds (Madonna). Abbie's wanting a kid, so she shares an appartment with Robert so he can play a father's role. Of course it all ends in tears - mostly those of laughter from the audience despately making sense of the incredulous plot twists.
Bob Rating: * Had great potential as a nasty Bob, but boy did that go awry. He didn't even call himself Bob! (C).
The Perfect Storm (1)
Bobby Shatford's (Mark Wahlberg) a bit of a lad - loves his girlfriend, but loves to fish, and needs the money. This was going to be his last big fishing trip - in fact this was rather confirmed by the end of the film ...
Bob Rating: * Nice with every sinew in his body, I'm afraid.(C)
The Perfect Storm (2)
Bob Brown (Michael Ironside) is an insurance man, a latter day tax collector, and chief 'boo-hiss' person of the film. Will the company pay out or not ? Are men's lives worth more than property ? That sort of thing.
Bob Rating: ** I think they did, so his rating went down ... (A)
Pleasantville
As the dubious juvenile heroes of the film slowly corrupt the black and white residents of Pleasantville bringing, in a very literal sense, a spot of colour to the place, Big Bob (J.T.Walsh) does his very best to uphold traditional values. He's hardly given a chance as the fifties-ville dwellers fast forwards their attitudes and beliefs thirty years in thirty minutes ...
Bob Rating : ***** Big All-That-Is-Fifties Bob is a thoroughly nasty piece of work and fine upholder of the all-the-town-love-him-but-he's-actually-scarily-rotten to-the-core type Bob.(A)
Plunkett and Maclene
Only spotted this one in the credits. Highwayman Rob (Iain Robertson) makes more impact in the film as a corpse than as the dying ruby swallowing original partner to Plunkett.
Bob Rating: ** Suitably obscure reference, but Rob wasn't nearly whacky or evil enough (during the film at least).(B)
Rainbow
Mike Bailey (Willie Lavendahl) cycles to school. Top Bob - director and star, Bob Hoskins - could not have seen many children cycle to school, because Mike had a grin a synchronised swimmer would die for the entire journey. He also seemed to know the entire community as they ran up to him smiling back making one big happy family. Even the corner of my mouth managed a quiver when Bob (Gordon Masten) of 'Bob's Video's ' ran out of his shop to greet our blissful Mike.
Bob Rating : *** Superbly irrelevant Bob - but far too nice.When we do see him nasty, he was under the influence of the Rainbow, so that dosen't really count.(B)
The Stupids
The postman father of the Stupids (Tom Arnold) has encountered endless letters saying, 'Return to Sender'. Natrually he interprets this as a bizarre plot that 'Sender' is stealing the U.S. Post for his own wicked ends.Whilst Mr Stupid descibes this plot to his family, we see his imagination enacted out. Sender (Christopher Lee) reads out one of his stolen posts, 'Tie a yellow ribbon round a tree if you still want me .' As he throws it away the evil Sender cackels, 'the only thing hanging from that tree will be you ... Bob'.
Bob Rating : *** There was a big cheer in our house at poor Bob's fate plunging as he did plumb into category B. Bob didn't even exist, in anything other than Mr Stupid's stupid imagination, so that's a pretty good rating by a fictional fiction character. (B)
Terminator 2: Judgement Day
The young Connor lad, is asked by his rebel friends who the Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) he's hanging out with is, "Uncle Bob"comes the reply.
Bob Rating : **** Totally irrelevant to the plot and classic use of counter 'Uncle Bob' stereotype.(B with undertones of A)
Titan A.E. (Warning this gives away the ending of the film !!!)
Cale (voice by Matt Damon) has unknowingly been given the map to his father's machine which can build planets in the event of Earth being blown up by aliens. Consequently, after Earth IS blown up by aliens, Cale is the only man who knows how to find the machine. After a whole film's worth of goings on he natrually finds the machine and a new planet is built. Cale's girlfriend, Akima (Drew Barrymore), in a moment of high romance and drama asks what he is going to name the new planet. 'Bob' he decides, and the film leaves us with a picture of 'The Planet Bob'.
Bob Rating : ***** The film offers us a great concept ... a whole planet called Bob ! (B in a C sort of way)
Under Siege 2: Dark Territory
When Casey the cook (Steven Seagal) once again finds himself defending a mode of transport from evil computer-whizz terrorists he only has the help of one zany porter, Bobby Zachs (Morris Chestnut). Bobby overcomes his role as comic foil to be nearly as big a hero as Casey himself !
Bob Rating: ***** An average film is more than overcome by a monster Bob reference.(A)
Volcano (1)
Bob (???) is a crucial lynchpin in the control room co-ordinating the unexpected Volcanco ... he is however NOT crucial to the film. Bob's main involvement is to be cruelly put down by Emmit Reece (Don Cheadle) after correctly pointing out Emmit's headgear is a bit odd. He did do one good long, meaningful, silent look, too.
Bob Rating : ** Bob went up in the ratings because I felt a bit sorry for him.(B)
Volcano (2)
Bob Davis (Kevin Bourland) is a crucial lynchpin for KNX News reporting on the unexpected Volcano. Meanwhile, Mike Roark (Tommy Lee Jones) co-ordinates the emergency services responding to an unexpected volcanic eruption. It is indeed Bob's mobile that Mike whips away as he needs to contact Bob and his pals in the control room. (I can't get a signal stood in the calm outdoors, let alone next to an erupting volcano, but still ...)
Bob Rating : ** What is it with this film and Bobs ? The first one gets needlessly mocked, and the next has his mobile stolen ... Be nice to Bobs we're human too ... if we are cut do we not bleed ... er ... where was I ? (C)
P.S. Thanks to Kevin Bourland, himself, who was the crucial lynchpin in getting the 'Volacno' facts right after an earlier error, cheers Kevin.
What About Bob?
Bob's (Bill Murray) behaviour drives his own psychiatrist mad.
Bob Rating: ***** A classic weird Bob, and he's even there in the title. (A)
Please write to tell me about a Bob film I MUST review.
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Last update 11th July 2001