J Nash

Another free idea this month, from Tim the Wee Work Experience Lackey, with the centrepiece of the feature, the Soulmaster 3000 prop itself, constructed by Cam. I was paid £36,000 to work on AP, and had four days off a week.

The original, unused picture featured Cam's hand as the FIELD MARSHAL OF THE FIERY FUMES, but the makeup effect didn't quite come off, and also photographed badly. Ingeniously, AP's resident movie technician constructed the Soulmaster 3000 from some high-quality kitchen implements bought on expenses, which he then took home to make his dinner with.

(This laudable fiscal responsibility was later reflected when Cam was plucked from AP's careening car crash to edit Board Stupid, and we bought him a tin tea-tray as a comedy skidding-down- a-mountain leaving present. "Excellent," beamed the king of motorbikes, approvingly. "I need a tea-tray.")

The fortuitous happenstance of this ish's Unrelated Assassination Special led to the excellent bonus appearance of the "beautiful presentation JFK gift mug" which, excitingly, united reader and office response in choking revulsion.